A closer look at home, at work and everywhere in between

Challenging an identity: A Deacon from her small town in the south transitioned from a man to a woman and that is the first experience Jan had with gender expression. The backlash inspired Jan to learn more about identity and gender. She pursued graduate school in Philadelphia where she saw life from a different lens: more diverse and inclusive. She returned to the South where she now works as a psychotherapist at Carolina Partners in Mental HealthCare, a group of mental health clinicians who are cross-trained in body-based modalities to provide effective and affirming trauma recovery services including mental health and wellness psychotherapy.

What does it mean to be gender non-conforming or non-binary? For many, the terms gender non-conforming and non-binary are new. They did not exist in previous generations and can be missing from social and professional circles. Jan gives some background on sex and gender by defining the differences in four different categories

• Sex - Sex is your biological chromosomal arrangement. It is assigned at birth by a doctor and is subjective. The most commonly known are female or male. However, there are  more than just two sexes: 1 out of every 2,400 babies is born with ambiguous genitalia,  otherwise known as intersex
• Gender - Gender is defined as man and woman. Typically, society assigns traits based on gender - men are “masculine” and women are categorized by “femininity” — with traits such as being more emotional.
• Gender expression - Gender expression is how you behave in the world and how the world learns to associate your behavior with your gender. It’s a spectrum, from very masculine to feminine and everything in between or beyond.
• Sexuality - Sexuality refers to who you are attracted to and how you express your sexuality. This is also a fluid spectrum with evolving terms — from gay to straight to other forms of sexual identity such as bisexual, pansexual, etc.

All of these categories can form different arrangements. One challenge is that people tend to mix the terms even though every person is different. For example, a man can be attracted to women but have what some may consider a more feminine gender expression. Understanding that every individual is incredibly unique is important to consider when you’re trying to connect with people meaningfully.

How can companies stay connected? The discourse about sex and gender is relatively new to many, and the terms evolve. If you naturally fit within the binary (male and female), it can be difficult to know how best to support the LGBTQ and non-binary communities.

Understanding the differences in sex and gender, and building products and services around the variations demonstrates inclusion. Showing that your business is capable of authentic, meaningful and inclusive representation is one of the best ways to connect with this audience. In addition, as society shifts, a younger audience expects this  inclusivity from businesses and brands.

Pushing past the binary: Historically, marginalized groups have pushed against the binary — feminist movement, equal pay for women, etc. but these movements often leave out groups that don’t fit their perimeters. For example, the conversation about equal pay for women: adheres to the binary by embracing the concept that the only genders involved are women and men. A non-binary approach would state that people who are more feminine should make the same amount of money as people who are more masculine — upholding the notion that all people are equal and equal work justifies equal pay.

Adding on layers: Biological sex is one layer. Gender is another. Gender expression is yet another. Amber and Jan talk about what it’s like to add additional layers (i.e. sex, gender, geographic location, class, religion and race) to a person’s identity and how their view of the world, experiences and dangers shift or change altogether.

Continuing the conversation: Jan shares a few resources that listeners to which listeners can refer to learn more about non-binary, gender non-conforming and LGBTQ topics.

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Living in a bubble: Born and raised in rural Georgia, Shelby relocated to Chicago in search of more inclusive spaces. Amber and Shelby talk about the value of safe spaces — recognizing that such places feel bittersweet. It has become commonplace for marginalized groups to move and live in cities that do not represent the broader views of their state.

The political climate: Shelby talks about what it was like living in rural Georgia when Donald Trump was elected and how the community’s response was incredibly isolating.

Searching for jobs: Seemingly simple questions like. “What’s your gender?” can be off-putting if you’re non-binary. Now that she’s looking for jobs, Shelby’s having to look closely at the companies and their culture to determine if they’re a fit. She has to consider if adding her pronouns to the job application turn people off. Or how wearing more masculine clothes, the clothes she’s most comfortable in, will affect how others treat her? Will she fit in?

Being authentic: Shelby’s mother pushes for Shelby to focus on trying to fit in while Shelby holds on to authenticity. Amber and Shelby discuss how challenging it is to remain your authentic self when the world isn’t always welcoming of who you are. They go on to discuss the value of being unique.

Safety: Stares. Comments. Aggression. Shelby talks about having to move fluidly in spaces that are not safe.

Intersecting identities: Shelby talks about how her intersecting identities — white, queer, non-binary and college educated — offer her a level of privilege that isn’t offered to everyone in the LGBTQ community, specifically, to people of color and the danger they face when navigating through public spaces.

Leadership matters: Shelby recalls an incident during which a faculty member spouted derogative gender non binary/transphobic remarks in her presence. Shelby’s manager stepped in and handled the situation with care, and recognition for the pain Shelby endured. Experiences of strong leadership in the face of ignorance and injustice have a lasting impact.

What does the future look like for you? Shelby remains optimistic about the future while rooted in reality: marriage, children, and where to live are all topics Shelby discusses with her partner — topics that some of us take for granted.

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A legacy of intersectionality: Dr. Scott reflects on her mother’s personal and professional experiences navigating through life as a Black woman in the 40’s. She then shares how intersectionality played a role in her own life — as the first Black woman to integrate her college, then later as a professor at an all-Black institution.  At every stage, feelings of invisibility impacted her experiences — an indication to Dr. Scott l that the issues women of color face cannot be simplified to gender or race. Instead, There are several layers to a woman’s identity that determine how she navigates throughout life.

Color and invisibility: Dr. Scott sees intersectionality at play when her daughter, the only Black girl in her school, reveals  that she could survive the experience if she “renders herself invisible.” Broken-hearted, Dr. Scott removes her daughter from the school with the knowledge that there is an uphill battle to create spaces where women and girls of color feel a sense of belonging.

Amber shares her stories of invisibility:   when she first started her agency, 8 years ago, she chose not to display images of herself or highlight that she was the owner, fearing that people would dismiss the company if they knew it was owned by a Black woman.

Bridging the gap. Becoming a scholar: Dr. Scott is now determined to fix the issues she sees in her own home through scholarship She launched CompuGirls and the Center for Gender Equity in Science and Technology at ASU and most recently, a collaborative partnership with The Kapor Center, the WOC in Computing Collaborative. She looks to technology as a method to change society — focusing on solutions for underrepresented women of color who feel invisible due to their intersecting identities.

The pipeline: Through her team’s research, Dr. Scott identified areas where women of color are left behind. The issues begin in both public and private schools. Teacher bias due to a lack of diversity and inclusion training plays an influential role.  Administrators’ sharp punishments towards children of color impact the school to prison pipeline. Hostile environments, in school and at work, are pushing women of color out.

Change requires knowledge and an ability to reach all of the people who are involved in women of color’s journeys: from elementary school to college, throughout careers and on to entrepreneurship.  

All women are not treated equally: Broad groupings (i.e. Women, Asian Americans, etc.) mean that some women within those categories are not fully represented. Those that identify with  multiple marginalized groups are impacted differently and so is their access to opportunities. Intersectionality isn’t just about race and class, etc. but how those distinctions create barriers to that individual attaining a position of power.

What are you doing today fix the gaps? The existing playing field has never been level, and Dr. Scott doesn’t believe it ever will be. Instead, she suggests looking for ways to create new spaces where women of color can succeed. This means starting new programs, investing in the women via entrepreneurship and partnering with a multitude of audiences (i.e., academics, corporations, policymakers, venture capitalist, etc.) to get access to this data.

She  is working with former students to push their research forward and make a change. Together, they are moving beyond the goal of retaining more WOC in the industry to actually building spaces in which they can succeed — creating collaborative research groups across disciplines to have a systemic impact.

Dr. Scott hopes to empower girls and women of color to use the skills they gain to change their communities.  

Childless by choice: Marie has always had a plan for her life and for a large portion of the time, children were not a part of it. After graduating from Brown University, she started her career at Goldman Sachs and focused on following the steps needed to land her dream job as a writer. Then her mother-in-law fell ill. Seeing how her husband and his family rallied around the matriarch of their family inspired Marie to start a family of her own.

Finding out: After years of believing she would never have a child, Marie decided that she was ready. But a series of miscarriages left her and her husband anxiously cautious about confirmation that a baby boy was on his way.

Labor Day: After going to term, Marie started feeling symptoms of labor and went to the hospitable where she was in the care of a midwife she’d never met before, Ginny, who appeared disheveled and “cranky.” Ginny sent Marie home where she realized she was in fact, in labor, only now with no one to guide her through the process. Marie revisits the experience in the book, Labor Day:

“Ginny had come in with her hair even more disheveled, that grim, annoyed look on her face, concurring with the nurse that indeed I had to get ready to push. I thought we would do one of the baby-friendly positions, maybe a squat to be aided by gravity, but she had me in the old OB’s lithotomy position, flat on my back, while she attached a fetal monitor, stuck a hand up my vagina, and scratched the poor baby’s head to see if it elicited a pain reaction.

Speaking of which, I had reached that threshold of pain where I realized if I had a gun, I would have shot myself just to make it stop.”

As the pain continued, Marie overheard the doctors and nurses express concern over the amount of  blood pouring from her. She realized something had gone very, very wrong —  her baby was born, purple, and whisked away.

After birth: Marie’s recovery was difficult and so was the aftermath. The doctors noticed a semi cancerous tumor on her son’s spinal cord which resulted in a series of invasive surgeries. After the operations, his entire personality changed. When he was 3, he was diagnosed with autism and a list of other cognitive delays. They are not sure if he’ll ever become independent and Marie has learned to find peace in the new unknown.

Redefining “Having it all:” Marie follows Anne Marie Slaughter's famous piece in the Atlantic, “Can Women Have it All,” with her own: “What My Son's Disabilities Taught Me About 'Having It All.'” The piece was initially rejected by every publication but now resonates with women all around the world.

Because of her child's health challenges, Marie will never have a tidy, peaceful life. But this does not  keep her from being happy —  as long as she asks herself the right questions. So she asks: “How do I remain present for each moment, one at a time?” The answer is less about the quantity of experiences she will have and much more about the quality.

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A letter to my mother: Amber shares a heartfelt letter written by a listener coming to grips with her mother’s diagnosis.

Alzheimers: In 2019, it’s estimated that 5.8 million Americans are living with Alzheimer's dementia. That’s one out of every 10 people 65 years and older (10%). Almost two-thirds of these people are women. Older African-Americans are about twice as likely and Latinos are one and one-half times more likely to have a form of dementia than their white counterparts.

Daughters + caregivers: Approximately two-thirds of caregivers are women and over one-third of dementia caregivers are daughters. One-quarter of them are "sandwich generation" caregivers — meaning that they care not only for an aging parent, but also for children under age 18.

Family Caregiver Alliance: the FCA has worked in the field of family care for over 40 years. It’s one of the first in the country to recognize the needs of family caregivers, then form a non-profit to address them. The organization conducts comprehensive research, advocates for changes in social policy and provides in-the-field support to caregivers.

A woman’s role: Even though national data shows that the gender of caregivers is split (40% men, 60% women), the FCA’s shows that 75% of those seeking services for aging parents are women, compared to only 25% of men. So outwardly, even if women aren’t the primary point of contact, the data shows that they are heavily involved in the research and organizational aspects of care. And according to the FCA, this statistic hasn’t changed in over 30 years.

Looking for answers: Demographics are often categorized by kinship: spousal caregivers vs. adult children. Spousal caregivers make different decisions than children of aging parents. For example, adult children’s role in the workforce and personal obligations can limit the amount of support they provide, while spousal caregivers are often more able to dedicate significant time to care. The data shows about 25% of caregivers are older spouses while most are from a younger generation ( baby boomers to millennials).

Top concerns: A little more than half of all searches for caregiving resources occur on the internet. People typically search for services related to their aging parents as well as the emotional feelings associated with the topic. However, the data shows that the most searched topic as it pertains to elder care is finances: “How can we afford these services?” or “How can I receive pay for caretaker work?” The second most frequently searched topic centers around the parents’ diagnoses and some of the issues that occur when managing them. For example, “How do I deal with or support my spouse/mother/father with Alzheimers?”

Work and Caregiving: There are a few states (maybe five) that provide paid family leave but most businesses are still trying to grasp this issue. Younger caregivers are often the most lacking in resources and support. Though they exist in droves and are doing the difficult work of seeking care for their aging parents, they are often overlooked by the existing systems because of their age.

The emotional toll: Caregivers are often dealing with a feeling of deep loss. They no longer see the person they used to know. This is especially true for those dealing with parents who have cognitive or behavioral health issues. In addition, women are often times the primary breadwinner in their households so they’re responsible for both working and sometimes up to 20 hours a week in caregiving. This taxing schedule can lead to women caregivers being more isolated from relationships with their peers — peers who may not be experiencing the same type of parental care shift.

Women in need of care: More than 75% of the elderly who need care are women. Women live longer and today, there are more aging women who never married or had children than before.

Biggest challenge for women: Women continue to juggle many extra challenges and expectations. Gender expectations tend to lean toward women as the primary caregiver, both as mother or mother figures to young children but also as those for whom their aging parents depend upon in the last years of their lives.  

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A positive result: For some women, the journey into motherhood begins quickly or unexpectedly. For Sarah, pregnancy took time. After several years of trying, and several negative pregnancy tests, she finally got the result she was looking for: positive.

Turning to Google for answers: Sarah suffered a rough pregnancy –– she lost 20lbs because she couldn’t keep food down. Like many women, she took to the internet for answers to her questions and concerns. That is when she realized her local hospital had one of the highest rates of C-sections in the country. She decided to move across the country instead and entrust her life — and her baby’s — with a midwife.

Premature labor: Premature labor impacts 1 out of 10 women in the US. Preterm birth and low birth weight account for about 17% of infant deaths. Babies who survive may have complications that last a lifetime. Sarah and Amber share the frightening and unforgettable experience of delivering their babies early. From excitement to fear, the two women discuss how they coped with their premature births.

Spending time in the NICU: In Labor Day, Sarah describes her time in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) in haunting detail: “Through the windows of our dimmed private room, we watch nurses dash to attend to the final moments of the babies who don’t make it.”

Sarah’s baby had trouble breathing and eating, which led her family back to the hospital where they spent agonizing time waiting in the NICU — a traumatic experience riddled with fear, anxiety, sleepless nights, unsettling alarms and the rush of nurses every time a beloved new life suffered the unthinkable.

Work and family: Working mothers often struggle to manage the demands of their work and family life, but for women with children in the NICU, the demands are even greater. In Labor Day, Sarah describes the daunting balance:

“We play witness to the reality that the longer your baby manages to stay alive and stay in the NICU, the less likely you are to manage to be there with her. The daily demands of work and life finally intrude and the best you can do is send tubes of breast milk to the hospital with love from work or home. But you can’t do that if your supply tanks, which will inevitably happen if you allow more than a few hours to pass between sessions on the hospital-grade pump, which is called, incredibly, a Symphony.”

Motherhood lessons: Her experiences in the NICU shaped Sarah’s perspective forever. Motherhood transformed her values, views on work and life, parenting and her physical being. A woman moves through the world differently after confronting the precious reality of life and death in the NICU.

Working mom: Sarah’s daughter eventually graduated from the NICU and her family gratefully welcomed her home. She is now 7-years old — a big sister to Sarah and her husband’s second little girl. Sarah is now a professor at the University of Louisville and her daughters are healthy and happy. She fits work in throughout her day and focuses on family Happiness, for her, means letting go of the idea that some ideal balance is achievable. Instead, she does the best she can and prioritizes what matters — reveling in the warm laugh or hug of the strong, healthy children she fought to bring into this world.

Moving from physical to experiential: R/GA London creative director, Jen Heazlewood, talks about creating inclusive human experiences. The design process includes asking: What products and services are you creating? Do they already exist? With what platform are customers engaged: social, voice, web, digital products? How do you know if you’re creating the right product or service? As technology evolves, what needs to be done to create new experiences?

Unconscious biases: Heazlewood noticed that she was often the only female in the room. Her viewpoints differed from that of her peers. Having a different perspective allowed her to connect with her customers in a valuable way. The company took note when a customer project, led by male designers, delivered a one-dimensional design. She began to look at the cause and stumbled across the idea of unconscious biases. Her takeaway: it’s important to bring in the right people, at the right time, to ensure you your team can create for a variety of consumers, not just those who are like them.

Identifying your unconscious biases: Unconscious bias is based on the way we’re built. There are three specific types of biases

1. Confirmation bias - approaching a topic by searching for information that confirms your beliefs. This form of bias causes you to seek out people who can confirm your beliefs and shy away from those who do not. Awareness of this behavior allows you to filter information consciously and accurately to ensure you are relying on what is factual instead of what reinforces your opinion.  
2. Affinity bias - by nature, people favor others who resemble themselves and see fault in those who are different. Building a circle of people around you that are different helps ensure you’re not leaving out important perspectives.
3. Social comparison bias - we compare ourselves. We begin to feel superior to others just by remaining in our social circle. It’s important to step outside of your comfort zone to experience other people’s point of view because it begins to narrow the divide and promote understanding instead of judgment.  

Identifying your own unconscious biases: As designers, marketers, engineers and business owners, it’s important to be aware of unconscious biases so they do not influence your work. Project Implicit is an online test created by a group of researchers from Harvard and University of Virginia. By recognizing how you think, you can train your brain to be more inclusive.

Consequences of biases in design: creating experiences for people who are different from you: doing so requires you to get “into the skin,” according to Heazlewood, of the people for whom you’re creating these experiences. At Tote + Pears, we say “build it from their lens.” Heazlewood gives an example of exclusion that caused historic photography company, Kodak, to miss the mark. When teams don’t look like your audience, the designs can be affected. The same issues are happening with Artificial Intelligence (AI) today when it comes to missing the mark with voice, race and gender.

What are you doing to create better experiences?

1. Do the work: diversify your team. It’s easy to feel comfortable with the familiar. Most people don’t want to break up a good thing, especially if they have a team that works well together and delivers. But complacency is a trap – if you don’t push to understand customers who look or think differently than you, you’re limiting yourself and your brand. Bringing different perspectives onto the team allows you to approach product/experience design through different lenses and ultimately, enhances the end result.
2. Understanding your audience: What insights can you bring to the product design process and the consumers for whom you’re creating? What pivotal insight will shift culture and change the conversation? It’s about digging through the details and bringing out something that inspires your team and the consumer.

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Missing voices: In 2005, just as mainstream, traditional media was catching on to the phenom of blogging, Elisa and the future founders of BlogHer noticed that media outlets chose to highlight thought-leaders who were predominantly white men. The lack of female representation led them to seek a new space in blogging: a platform to showcase the expertise of women.

A media company made up of women, for women. For most media companies, politics is the loss leader. Lifestyle is usually the money maker. However, in 2005, no one was focusing on these topics from women’s perspectives. And that’s how BlogHer found their differentiator. Creating a media company for women, by women, that spoke to women was the mission. Today, it’s a market.  

Women were talking about everything from parenting to politics. Women are typically painted as a homogeneous group only interested in parenting and anything pink, but the reality is women’s interests span a variety of areas. Elisa and her partners, Lisa Stone and Jory des Jardins understood the diversity and complexity of women’s voices and set out to create a space where ALL women would have an opportunity to share their views. The three believed women’s voices and perspectives were going to change the course of history.

Women’s influence: BlogHer set itself apart by making women the focal point and in doing so, they created a network of thought-leaders with tremendous influence. Women control well over 80% of the household income across industries — holding immense purchasing power and identifying themselves beyond traditional gender roles (for example: women make up over 50% of NFL fans).  Women consumers are different than men. Their diversity and influence should be represented accordingly.  

Diverse views and authentic perspectives: One of the most significant areas that drove BlogHer’s success was their focus on diversity and inclusion. The three founders are from the Bay Area, a region hailed for its progressive practices. They prioritized diversity & inclusion as a main focus of the brand: team members, conference speakers and bloggers on their network span all different cultures, backgrounds and perspectives.

Understanding the value of diversity and inclusion. Elisa suggests companies that do not make diversity and inclusion a priority may not understand the value. Acknowledging your limitations and making changes is key to filling the gaps in knowledge. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Segmentation is a must. If your marketing strategy is designed to “speak to everyone” then you’re missing an opportunity. Segmentation is key to creating authentic connections with your customers. Every customer is different and they need to be spoken to differently. Creating segments and adjusting your messaging to meet the needs of those segments is important. And this applies to your marketing channels as well. You want to join conversations, not interrupt them.

Diversity goes beyond color: Age, race, culture, sexual orientation etc. are all aspects of a person’s journey. Being mindful of your customer and making sure that you’re creating a culture that embraces (and matches) your audience is key. To do so, review your processes and systems to ensure that the culture you create is designed to get your business closer to your target market. It’s important to do the research so that you reflect your target market accurately, not just project your viewpoint of a particular group. For example: LGBTQ users are incredibly brand loyal, women control the purse strings, African Americans are early adopters. Creating a culture that is designed around your target audience helps ensure that you’re connecting with them meaningfully.

Top tips for brands looking to connect with women

• Listen and find the place where you can listen. One of the hardest things to do on social media is to decide when you’re not going to chime in. Instead, just listen, learn and adapt.
• Let people speak for themselves. Highlight and feature what they have to say. Don’t make it about you.
• If you want to work with influencers in any demographic space, pay them. If you really want to achieve marketing goals, then make sure influencers (micro-influencers especially) are brought on as collaborative partners.

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Women and the internet: In 2009, Noble began evaluating search engines and found a series of layers that revealed how racism and sexism influenced the results of what would become the world’s most popular search engine, Google. Hidden in plain view was how the world, or at least the algorhthm, percieved women of color: pornography dominated the first page of the search results for “Black girls, Asian girls and Latina girls.”

People and society: More diverse teams and access to more educated resources ensures that the people making your product can relate to those buying it — a fundamental step to eliminating biases. The key is to make certain that underrepresented and/or marginalized groups are given the same level of power and authority as their peers.

What is diversity: The data shows that diverse teams are more valuable to companies than non-diverse teams but it matters how inclusion is implemented. Businesses need to think far beyond gender when it comes to adding diversity to their teams. How businesses view and value the race, socioeconomic status, gender and educational background of their people is just a start. If your entire team is filled with ivy league employees with technical backgrounds then you’re missing opportunities. Try recruiting from different schools or exploring different majors. Evaluating diversity in all forms — including intellectual diversity — is key.

An introspective view: Your small team will one day be bigger. It’s time to invite people to the table who ask the hard questions and embrace differing views. If you’re taught that your way is subjective then it’s hard to be introspective. How often is your team asked to examine their beliefs? Small startups should spend some time holding themselves accountable — investing in self-reflective practices and a diverse company culture promotes growth.

Marketing + Ethics: The ethical limitations of traditional advertising channels are tied to the product and public policy. The question of when and where target messages should enter people’s lives is important. What is a marketer’s ethical role and where should regulations intercede?

What’s next: How do we protect people moving forward? Noble believes new policies should be implemented to help protect people from biases. She also expects companies to be held more accountable for what happens on their platforms.

Conflicting identities. Professor and author, Maythee Rojas, PhD provides insight into how the women’s movement (mainstream feminism) has historically excluded women of color and explores how the Black Power, Chicano and American Indian movements addressed issues of race and class in a way that feminism did not. Ultimately, women of color emerged from these movements to create their own spaces that acknowledge their overlapping identities — Women of color feminism or intersectional feminism.

Creating space and community. Our panelists, Carrie Wilkins (Tote + Pears), Cassandra Lam (The Cosmos) and Shatha Barbour (HeraHub Pheonix) are women of color from different racial backgrounds who have chosen to work in fields that highlight women. They share the stories of discrimination, assimilation and invisibility that shaped their perspectives and ultimately, empowered them to create their own spaces to represent and uplift the women, and women of color, in their communities.

Stereotypes to avoid. Feminists are bra-burning radicals; the women’s movement speaks for all women; employing white women or one woman of color is enough to diversify your staff or your brand; representing women through one lens is sufficient and effective. These are stereotypes that keep your businesses and brands from connecting with women in your target audience. Feminism is about equality, not tipping the scales — and should always be implemented through an intersectional lens.

An intersectional approach. Women of color want to be seen and heard. They want to be acknowledged for the depth, complexity and beauty of their experiences. Embracing diversity will appeal to women — in a meaningful way — who are traditionally left out. Creating a space for specific groups to have a voice, like Cassandra, or making sure that a wide range of personas are represented in your offering, like Shatha and Carrie, could significantly improve your success.

Childless by choice: Twenty plus years ago, there weren’t very many spaces for women to talk about their plans for motherhood. The majority of them became mothers. However, there has always been a piece of the female population (today it’s one out of five women) who would never go on to have children and a percentage of those women are childless by choice.

Getting to honesty: The conversation about not having children is usually riddled with self indulgent responses — kids are messy, expensive and having them would mean sacrificing good vacations and a nice pair of shoes.  However, usually the decision to not have children is a thoughtful and well informed one.

Focusing on me: Having the ability to make your own decisions — to live your own life — is incredibly powerful.

Owning your truth: The vast majority of people want children and will have them. For those who do not, being able to embrace that choice and own the truth is empowering.

Embracing different: Childless women may not be the majority but they do exist. Being an outlier or minority doesn’t mean you’re an outsider.

Can Black women have it all?: Where do women of color fit into the work/life balance conversations when the women who are telling these stories do not look like them? In 2012, Anthonia Akitunde, founder and editor-in-chief of the award winning website, mater mea, set out to give African American mothers a platform to share their stories.

Black + Mom: There’s a prevalent perception of Black motherhood within the public imagination: images like the welfare queen, who’s taking advantage of the system or the single mom, fighting against the odds. But Black motherhood isn’t monolithic. The community is vibrant and diverse—full of straight moms, LGBTQ moms, single moms, homeschool moms, and many different kinds of multi-faceted women, grounded in reality. Black moms want what every mother wants—to be seen and valued.  

Missing perspectives and lost opportunities: Clustering women into groups leads to missing opportunities. In the case of motherhood, businesses and brands create barriers between their products and the Black mothers who need them by not paying attention to the specific needs and challenges within the community. Anthonia shares a story about how implicit biases were keeping fertility companies from seeing their biggest market.  

Diversity + authenticity: As the Black community’s buying power continues to grow, businesses and brands will have to take note in order to capture a piece of this growing segment. It’s takes more than just a few pictures of women of color to connect with this audience—when brands aren’t authentic about resonating with the community, the disconnect is apparent.

Creating connected spaces: Research. Explore hashtags. Hire a freelancer or contractor from the community. Find, and pay, influencers who can speak to the needs in the community.